Damaged
by l3monhea2
Summary: Set after New Moon... Edward is gone. Jacob is just a best friend. And I don't know where its headed possible Jacob or Edward bashing. But the end game will be Paul and Bella. Enjoy


Bella had always assumed that once _he left _she'd always be accompanied by the mind-boggling anguish on the left side of her chest. She barely felt the need to breathe anymore. The air seemed to burn with the memories of sweet serenity with _him_. A smell, an ache, an emotion she'd lost that day in the mossy green trees. Before _he _left she'd felt it. The trees of forks were more than jaded moss surrounding eerily cloudless hours-rather she was surrounded by burgundy jubilant air. She floated on air it seemed_. He'd_ taken it all. Her best friend. Her heart. Her family.

Now the jaded green moss covered by sunless day's left frigid ice around her chest and throat. She felt like the languishing heartbreak _he'd_ left her with was stupefying. The existence she once loved when she reached Forks had faded. She was left with no desertion from the painful memories. Until she started traveling to Lapush.

Jacob… Jacob was the peace she found behind the cloudy days. When she was at Lapush Bella found staggered behind the boy as if her life depended on it. She couldn't seem to get enough of the luminous air that traveled behind her Jacob. He was her best friend. Her confident. In more ways then she'd ever hoped weeks into their relationship. The transformation he'd taken had shifted their relationship dynamic. Jacob assured Bella it was nothing. He was just happy she remembered the legends he'd told her before…before her abandonment. Bella didn't mind him being a wolf at all. As long as he stayed in her life. The days with Jacob were tolerable. They made her heart ache-in all the right places.

Jacob made her laugh-she'd missed her laugh, even if the laughs never reached her eyes. Jacob made Bella smiled-she missed the smiles that were etched on her flaw full face. Jacob brought happiness into her life-she suppressed herself deep within his mirth. Jacob had brought her out of the clouds. The gray bitter despondent clouds. How could she not accept her best friend being a wolf? Her heart may have no longer beat but Bella felt as if her air had sparked alive when she traveled to Lapush…to see Jacob.

Lapush was where Bella felt liked she was as close to lively as her heart allowed. It didn't matter if Jacob was with her some days. She was content to set along the cliffs Jacob had promised to dive off of with her one day. Lapush was the place that her so eager to live again. She felt like she was missing the one place she could smile again when she wasn't in Lapush. Bella chalked it up to him again. The way Bella saw…she loved Lapush because of the treaty. No memories mocked her here. When the wind blew it didn't carry her lost families scent. It carried the deep rustic smell of the oak, pine, and whatever else surrounded her. She loved the wind in Lapush. Sometimes she felt insane.

She felt at ease against the slick rocks. She pondered where Jacob was as she looked down at the billowing harsh waves. Bella considered taking a step forward. There. There _he_ was.

_Bella don't. _

She wanted to argue back, instead her foot slipped further out as she leaned over the cliff. Why was she so reckless? Recently out in the woods Bella had acquired the knowledge that _he_ would pop in her when dangerous things happened. Bella went on a hunt for their meadow. She couldn't seem to get enough of the agitation that flared in her stomach. _He_ hated when she did that. So much that _he'd_ appear beside her. Talk her out of the craziness she'd consider just to hear the velvet of _his_ voice. _He_ was angry with her this time. She loved it. _He_ called her Bella. Bella…she'd missed her name on _his_ lips.

To far was never in Bella's vocabulary. She stepped one last time to see him reach further for her. She couldn't catch herself as she toppled over the cliff. No scream escaped her throat. She couldn't scream in hope anyone would hear her. She pondered the thought if it was simply because death didn't seem so hard or far. Her mahogany curls slapped her cheeks. She was close to the water now. She closed her eyes. _Edward_. He was there. Telling her to push as she smacked the water.

For once Bella's heart thundered into action, her daunt actions lost in the frosty water. Her eyes flew open in shock. The water was chaotic. Bella's body distorted as a wave crashed her into something solid. She assumed it was a wall. She could no longer struggle and wrench toward the surface. Why? What had she done to herself? To Charlie? To Jacob? The pack? She'd loved them. Just not how she loved _him_. Right…_him_. He was near. Bella's eyes took in the exquisite sight of _him_ floating with her in midnight cover. The water was so dark this deep. She felt heavy. Really heavy. Bella closed her eyes. The flame in her lungs was starting. She was being consumed by the water. Edward.

"Bella. Oh my God. Bella please be okay. Bella. Don't. Oh God. Go get Sam Jared. NO" the voice it was familiar to Bella. She felt has if her chest had been crushed. Her eyes were ringing. She felt…tenebrous and heavy. That voice. Who was that? "Bella honey. Be alright. PAUL. NOT NOW. HELP ME SAVE HER". Jacob.

It was Jacob. Bella felt so tired. She wanted to comfort Jacob. He was also so jolly, what was wrong with him? She was so sleepy again. Her throat wouldn't open. She was lost in herself. Then...she felt it. Warmth a warmth beyond the callous cover on her body. They were hands. She couldn't hear Jacob any more. The hands traveled where no hand other than hers had dared venture. The bottomlessness in her chest released and her eyes flew open. Paul. Paul's face was in front of hers. She was at a lost in his eyes. The intense harboring in her chest lurched more water out of her mouth allowed deep shallow breathing to slice the air. Bella twitched and shivered. The air was biting.

"You're so fucking stupid. Get up Bella. We've got to go back to Sam's" Paul was always so harsh. Even then his body over Bella's brought a delirious thick sensual fever. Paul. Paul smelled of the leaves in autumn on an evening night. Crisp. Beautiful. All russet and built in frame. He towered Bella. He stood 6'4 and his body hosted no signs that he was only 22, Paul was a man. Bella exhaled more of him. His heat was intoxicating. She was so weak. "Bella dammit. Are you okay?"

"P-p-Paul." Bella burned all over as she spoke. Something in Paul uncoiled. The austere abrasive demeanor on his face slipped at once. He was softened by her voice. His eyes shone in their black hot spell. Bella was raptured. Paul's lips were full, even, and perfect. His chin chiseled like a piece of art work. Why had she never seen how beautiful he was? Paul. The bawl that slide up her chest escaped her throat. His face contorted in misery as he cradled her. He felt exposed. Where was Jacob? Bella had flipped him inside out suddenly. The imprint slapped him clear across the face. He was so angry but when the gust of torment expressed behind Bella's voice it undid the man he'd fought to become. Bella was Paul's imprint. She no longer was a lamb falling in love with a lion. She was a prey to the wolf. Her wolf. Paul was hers. In her own despair she couldn't feel it. He could. The whole pack could. Howls filled the air. He picked Bella up and ran. Ran from where he'd left all his icy abhorrence.


End file.
